Episode 45 - Finding Your Happy With Dr. Sophia Godkin, The Happiness Doctor (Full Transcript)
This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 45 Finding Your Happy With Dr. Sophia Godkin, The Happiness Doctor.
Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.
Amy: 0:06
Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.
Katie: 0:18
And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation Welcome back to Nirvana sisters, I am really excited for this interview this week. I think we're gonna learn a lot and it's going to be very interesting. We are sitting down with the happiness doctor, Dr. Sophia Godkin. She's a health psychologist, happy ologists and happy Ness relationship and transformational coach. She is recognized for helping people all around the world learn to love themselves, create pleasure, build relationships and become happy from the inside out without having to force or fake it. As a renowned Coach, University professor and head of learning at international wellness companies, Dr. Sophia has taught people of all ages and backgrounds the principles and practices of happiness and healing for many years, whether in the form of individual coaching, writing or group Education, Dr. Sophia is known for the depth lightheartedness and transformative potential of her work. And that is really exciting and interesting. I love the whole idea of it. So Hi, Dr. Sophia, thank you for being here. Should we call you Dr. Godkin? Dr. Sophia, happiness Doctor, what? What would you like us to call you?
Sophia: 1:34
You can call me Sophia, Katie and Amy.
Katie: 1:37
Okay. All right, Sophia. So thank you so much for being here. Let's Let's kick it off with our nirvana of the week. Amy, what was yours?
Amy: 1:45
Yeah, so mine happens earlier today. I was I typically try not to go on social media or my phone in the morning because it's so distracting, as we all know. But it was Friday. And I was just kind of lazy. So I looked at my Instagram and I saw that something had popped up that it was a year since we launched our first podcast episode, which was such a surprise. I just wasn't thinking about it. Because Katie and I started the podcast in the business during the pandemic like late 2020. But I didn't realize we officially launched this day, January 28. Last year, so it was amazing to see and to see other progress you made and I was just super excited about it. So that was my little joy of the day. What about you, Katie? I
Katie: 2:25
love that. That's great. Mine was yesterday, I had some really nice quality one on one time with Rhys mangas daughter, she I was I've been kind of under the weather and I felt really good yesterday afternoon. And I was just really like, sewn down on her and playing and being silly. And we were doing she was first she was my doctor. And then she was my hairstylist and she was my makeup artists. It was really cute. She told me she said, I'm a doctor on Fridays. I'm a hairstylist on Saturdays. I'm a makeup artist on Sundays. So I said I
Amy: 2:54
already that's great. It's already an entrepreneur. So that she do that with me because I have boys and they
Katie: 3:00
don't you know she would love to do. What about you, Sophia? What was your Nirvana this week?
Sophia: 3:06
Thanks for asking Katie. It's actually similar to yours. But it happened with my cat. I traveled all of last week. So I had no pet time at all. And I came back, you know, feeling like I need to do all of the things that I missed last week. But I think it was Wednesday on Wednesday, I woke up to do my usual routine of you know, going to the gym and starting on all the tasks that I have to do. But something you know, inside me so just hanging out hanging out in bed a little longer. And I think it was my cat Leo, who really allowed that to happen, because he's just the softest thing. During Yeah, during these winter months. Yeah, so we just hung out in bed for an extra hour and a half, maybe. And
Amy: 3:50
we need to see him. Is he around? By your feet? Not by my
Sophia: 3:55
feet. No, no, he's not by my feet. But maybe I can show you some other time. Yeah, I'm sure he left him with a cameo.
Katie: 4:02
That sounds great. I love we kind of love the good pet Snuggles. Well, let's go ahead and get started. Because I feel like we have so much to unpack here. First of all, so in your career, you've you're a psychologist, and but how like, explain what the happiness doctor is and how you became the happiness doctor.
Sophia: 4:24
Oh, thanks so much for asking Katie. Yes. So, oh, let's see where to begin. So my personal journey, my my professional journey rather, has been like a mix of psychology and education. I'm a lifelong learner. I'm incredibly passionate about education. I think education can really change lives. It can, you know, provide us with the tools that we need to make the changes that we really want to make. So I've dabbled for as long as I can. Remember I've dabbled in psychology and education. You mentioned earlier I was a professor I lead education teams for various health wellness companies. And then at some point, you know, I realized that This thing that I called my side gig, which is coaching people, one on one doing group coaching programs, and really, you know, creating personalized tools for true happiness and emotional healing, that that's really where my heart was. And that that actually, you know, allowed me to express those strengths that I have of education and, and learning and really, you know, expressing compassion for people and guiding them through the struggles that life is inevitably filled with. So yeah, at some point, I just decided to go for it. And I said, Okay, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do my own thing. Because that's how I feel that I can help the world the most. And it was actually a friend of mine that, you know, I was thinking of a business name, when the happiness doctor was still a side gig. And, you know, we were bouncing around with names and nothing felt right, you know, intuitively, you know, when something is you and when it's not you, and it just wasn't falling into place. And then one day, she calls me and she's like, You're the happiness doctor? And I was like, yes, yes, I am like that. That's exactly what I do. That's exactly what emanates from me naturally. Right? And so yeah, today, I'm the happiness doctor. I love it.
Katie: 6:09
I know, it's such a good name. I mean, it doesn't get any better.
Amy: 6:13
I know. And I love how in the intro, you refer to yourself as a happy ologists, which I'd never heard. And that's fantastic.
Katie: 6:20
So before you became the happiness doctor, were you doing the traditional therapy sessions? Or was that when you're, you're solely focused on being a professor? What were you teaching at the time? And also, you certainly worked for wellness companies.
Sophia: 6:36
So I was trained as an academic psychologist, and my expertise was in health psychology, the mind body connection, really. So I was teaching courses like health psychology and positive psychology, and even research methods and the not fun thing sometimes. Yeah, so I was really, you know, heavily focused on teaching at the time and also conducting research. But again, as I mentioned, I figured out after quite a few years that I needed to be the one on the frontlines, I needed to be the one that was helping enact change, rather than conducting the evidence based research on the back end, and waiting for, you know, evidence to emerge for things that I really in my heart already knew to be effective. Oh,
Katie: 7:19
I like that. I love that. That's interesting. Okay, so you have created these courses, then you you're coaching people, one on one, and you're also doing group coaching. And then you have developed a course called the negative thinking and feeling cure course. So let's dive into that a little bit. Explain to us what that is.
Sophia: 7:39
Please. Yeah, thanks for asking about that. Katie. Yeah, so this course is essentially a response to the biggest struggle that people tell me that they have, right, what do I do with my thoughts and emotions, like, these thoughts? Get me down, these thoughts overwhelm me, they stressed me out, and the feelings that I have, are responsible for my unhappiness, right. That's what I hear in various forms, repeatedly from from clients and potential clients. And so I thought, okay, you know, let's let me think back to my own personal journey, and what did I really need to learn at the very beginning, and it made so much sense to me that this is what people keep asking about, because one of the first things I remember really deeply learning and really kind of pivoting within myself was how I related to my thoughts and emotions. And so the negative thinking and feeling cure course, is really about helping us to understand what thoughts and emotions really are, and how we can relate to them differently. And what I mean by that is really challenging the things that we're told, we're told, you know, negative thoughts are bad, and feelings, uncomfortable feelings, like sadness and anger are bad. And so we need to push them away, we need to tuck them away in a corner, we need to hide them, pretend they're not there. And that's actually what exacerbates the emotional pain that many of us walk around life with. And so this course is just, you know, a really gentle invitation to think about things a little differently in a way that I think actually helps us to live with the thoughts and emotions that we as human beings have. So it's all about changing how we think about them and how we relate to them.
Amy: 9:13
So is it kind of going into to the mindset and kind of accepting the thought and then having strategies around how to sort of bring it into your life but not bring you down? I don't know if you could, like help us think about because I know when I have a negative thought in my head, I tried to think there's always you always hear these things, like thoughts become things or don't give energy to a negative thought, but it's like hard to really know what that means or to implement that. So maybe you can share a tip or something that can help people that have a quick negative thoughts that come in their head, like how do they kind of get out of that zone? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah,
Katie: 9:54
I was also just really quickly going to ask it's kind of a tack on to your question. That's why I interrupted Is it? Is it the, in Buddhism, the living with your thoughts and your feelings, your negative thoughts and feelings? They tell you to to like, say, Okay, I'm anxious. Let me hold on to that. And let me like almost nurture my anxiety like give it a hug like you're you're welcome here, you can be here with me we can live in this space together. Is it anything like that?
Sophia: 10:23
Yes, I would say, Katie, your example is a little bit more aligned with what I was sort of referring to as far as what the course offers the perspective that the course offers and the invitation that exists within that course for us to relate to things differently. Yeah, you can think of it as holding the emotion or, again, just relating to it in a way that doesn't treat it as an enemy, right doesn't treat it as this invader, and doesn't treat it as a like, as a bad thing. Really, right. At the very most basic level. Negative thoughts aren't bad, right? They're not bad. And we're taught the, you know, against your thinking a negative thought. It's so bad. It's horrible. And like, you will, right Stop thinking about it. Right? Yeah. Like you alluded to Amy, it's, oh, my gosh, it's it's determining my future in some negative way. And that doesn't help. That just doesn't help. Right. And the energy is real, right? I don't disagree with that. But the way that we relate to that experience, can be kinder, it can be gentler, and it can embody more of the qualities that we know to actually help and heal and transform and create true happiness, if that makes sense. And we can definitely use an example Amy or Katie, maybe you have a thought that that we can work with a thought that's not the most pleasant thought that maybe you
Amy: 11:41
had real time coach. Yeah,
Katie: 11:42
sure. I'll give you one. Yeah, sure. Let's see.
Amy: 11:48
Let me go through my,
Katie: 11:49
let me go through all of my problems. No, I'm just kidding. Um, all right. Here's a good one. So like I have mentioned and Amy knows and Raul probably sick and tired of hearing it, which there's a negative thought and itself is that I have been unwell lately. And I have this negative thought in my mind that these people in my life friends, new friends, I just moved to New Town that like they think I'm the sick girl. Like, you know, he was the sick girl again. You know, like, it's like that insecurity thought of like, your ego again, kind of thing. So there's one.
Sophia: 12:19
Yeah, absolutely. And how, and I know, we don't have all the time in the world. So we're gonna just gonna work with it a little bit if that's okay. And how does that thought make you feel?
Katie: 12:28
Like lousy and pathetic?
Sophia: 12:31
Yeah, yeah. So let's, let's see this thought as something coming from within you. That's actually here to give you a message. Okay. What would that message be? What would that message be? If this was a thought coming from within you? It's not really coming from the women. It's coming from within you. It's and it's uncomfortable, right? And there's a reason it's uncomfortable. It's well done telling you something. I feel like
Katie: 12:55
it's telling me that I which and maybe I'm wrong, but then I'm really sick and tired of being sick all the time. I don't know is that the message? You know that I'm embarrassed about it? And then tired of it and sick of it?
Sophia: 13:08
It might be so maybe yeah, so maybe this this thought and the feeling associated with it is letting you know that. That may be you know, your system wants you to feel a little bit more accepting of the fact that you are unwell.
Katie: 13:22
Yeah, that's acceptance. Now, I think you're I think you're right. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. And it's kind of a it's an acceptance thing that I have stuff that I just have to deal with.
Sophia: 13:31
I just got chills. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, when it's so easy to see or think we're presuming we do this all of the time, all of us to think that, you know, this other person on the outside is the one thinking this about us that I'm the sick girl. But really, I'm the one thinking that I'm the sick girl and it doesn't feel good to see myself that way. Right? Because for as long as I can remember, I've been the well girl like I, you know, I when I look at you, like that's what I imagined, right? Katie so, so, so then you can relate to this thought, as you know, you can turn to it, like you said, even hold it and say, Hey, thanks for being here. Like you just made me aware of the fact that I'm seeing myself as the sick girl. And, you know, really, maybe I can see myself a little bit differently throughout this experience. Maybe I'm not as well as I once was. But maybe I can, you know, still envision myself a little differently. And maybe that sickness in and of itself is another messenger right here telling me that something's not right. something's a little off in my life. And what could that be? Right? And we can do this for you know, yeah, everything that you've got.
Katie: 14:32
Yeah, no, that's Yeah, that's great. I can really appreciate that. So it's, it's a matter of looking at what these negative thoughts are. This message that it's trying to come to convey and and what you can do to to work with that to make positive change. Basically,
Sophia: 14:50
yes, that's one part of it. Yes. And the other is really bringing the body in. Because the reason one of the other reasons that we push feelings away and thoughts away that are quote unquote Negative is that they feel uncomfortable, they feel physically uncomfortable, right? No one likes being angry or sad. It's physically uncomfortable. So we run away from it, we drink, we overeat, we do all of these things, because it's uncomfortable. And so the other part of it is really learning and fighting ourselves to feel what it's like to feel an emotion in our body without pushing it away, becoming comfortable with the physical sensations that might exist there. So maybe it's, you know, pressure in the chest, or tingling in the belly or, you know, tension in the forehead. But understanding that's okay, like, if we actually observe it and focus on it without pushing it away, it starts to maneuver and change all on its own, there's nothing we don't have to push it away. By pushing it away, it exacerbates. But when we can learn to be there with that sensation, it actually again moves that emotional energy moves throughout our body. So it's a mind body experience. Yes, the first part is really, you know, relating to that thought and emotion in a bit of a, you know, mind heart way. And the other is really somatic really inviting that experience, that physical experience that often accompanies thoughts and emotions.
Amy: 16:05
Okay, that's so interesting, you say that, because my, my younger son, Jules, who is 12, we had him go to a therapist A while ago, because he has a lot of anxiety. And it was mostly around like sports and performing and like, messing up or getting hurt. And he would just like just constantly, you know, ask questions and be really nervous before games, and just like this overly anxious, and we didn't really know what strategies he should use. And I remember when one of his sessions, they had followed up with me and kind of showed me what they had gone through with him. And it was that like, you know, it's not just what you're thinking your head, like, do you feel this in your chest? Do you feel this, like, the body piece to it, which I thought was really interesting. And I was so glad they did that being that he's so young. And he's learning that like, when he recognizes these things, that means this is happening. And this is it's okay to live with. You just have to learn how to, you know, strategize and think through things differently. So, yeah, that's great job.
Sophia: 17:08
Yeah. That's great to hear that he was introduced to that at a young age. Yeah, absolutely. And in
Amy: 17:13
your course, how does it work? Is it online? How many sessions is it? How can people find out more about the course? Because I think it's so interesting, and I'm sure a lot of our listeners would love to learn more about it. Yeah, thanks
Sophia: 17:24
for asking me. Yes, this course is fully online, self paced, you can you know, take it at your own leisure at your own pace. There are activities and exercises that you download a workbook that you download, and it's all available on my website, that happiness doctor.com.
Katie: 17:38
That's great, nice. And then you also do the coaching as well. So are the coaching sessions similar to traditional therapy? Is it or, like, what's the difference between coaching and therapy?
Sophia: 17:51
Hmm, great question, Katie. Yeah, so the way I like to think about it is coaching is focused on who you are now, and building on the strengths that you have in order to create the kind of future that you want. And therapy is a little bit more about paying attention to what has happened to date to create who you are, and maybe paying attention to and, and, you know, bringing some healing to things that have happened in the past but still influenced you today.
Katie: 18:19
Okay, I can see the difference here. That's interesting. Okay, so now, you mentioned somatic awareness. So what I want to do is I saw that you have these different modalities. And I think we've just touched on a few of them. And some of them we're very familiar with, and I'll just list them off really quickly. There's positive psychology, internal family systems, mindfulness, self compassion, somatic awareness, intuitive expression of arts, energy medicine, and generational ancestral healing. So I, you know, we've heard of mindfulness and self compassion and all of that, but I'd like to kind of like tick off and go through some of the more obscure ones that were not as familiar with maybe could help us better understand them. Amy, did you
Amy: 18:59
and I have a quick Yeah, I had a quick question. Just need a 101. What is the modality?
Sophia: 19:06
modality is a practice? You know, a tool skeletal? Okay, got it. Okay, perfect. Can't be more fancy word for tool and practice. Yeah.
Katie: 19:16
I'm glad we clarified that. So so positive psychology is that? Is that what we were just talking about?
Sophia: 19:24
What positive psychology is the science of happiness? So when you hear folks like Shawn Achor, and you know, other sort of researchers in happiness, talk about, you know, the practice of happiness. Usually, they're referencing research that's been conducted in the science of happiness. So positive psychology, you know, the traditional definition, the traditional way that we think about it is, we're really focusing on what's good, what's good about people, right? Because traditional psychology focuses on what's wrong with people, right? How can we address people when they're sort of at a negative 10? How can we bring them back to a zero and positive side ology says, Okay, you're at a zero or maybe a two, well, that's not enough. How can we get you to a 10? Right? So we're focusing on maybe, you know, things that are already going well, and like, how can we capitalize on that? Or, you know, you're starting this, this mindfulness practice where you're aware that, you know, these negative thoughts are bothering you, you're not depressed all the time. But you're aware that you can feel better and more of the time. So what can we do about that? How can we understand who you are? And how can we bring your strengths to the surface to really help us out in that process?
Amy: 20:27
It's funny that you say that. So just a couple of comments. That's like one of the reasons we start our show off with our nirvana of the day or the week is in that same vein, it just like occurred to me, it's because we want to start out thinking about things more positively versus what went wrong is what went right. And I try to also do that with my kids, when they say, Oh, I have to do this. And I'm like, No, you get to do this. So I think all of that mindset stuff is so critical. So yeah, that's
Katie: 20:56
great. I just recently started working with someone to work on positive parenting, and it's like very similar, instead of always waiting for the child to not do as they're told or, or to do the wrong thing. And only like call out like, I needed you to I asked you to do this three times, instead of that, it's, you're totally focusing on the positive, like, Oh, she just did something really great. Look at that beautiful job, great job. And then the positivity builds on the positivity builds on the positivity. And the next time I asked her to do something, she doesn't right away, because she wants that positive reinforcement that she knows might be coming. So true. It's just like a whole different scope of of doing things. And then it kind of shifts everything. And I imagine in psychology, it probably shifts people's framework and point of view and how they're focusing on life in general, right?
Sophia: 21:47
Absolutely, absolutely. Yes. And I love those examples. Because, you know, we're not brushing over the negative things, right? We're not saying forget about the negative, pretend it's not there. We're saying, hey, there's a lot of positive that we're actually missing. We're missing because our brains aren't attuned to look at things that way. So we need to make it an intentional practice, like the ways that you just mentioned, you know, we can actually intend to unconsciously bring forward the positive that already exists in our lives. And that can influence our romantic partnerships, our relationship with our children, our relationship with ourselves. Yeah, absolutely.
Amy: 22:18
I have so much to say on this. So. And I want both both of your opinions, because this is something I struggle with all the time, because I think there are different types of people glass half full and glass half empty, just naturally, right. So like, I'm glass half full on my husband's glass half empty. And so our biggest argument is always about parenting, because I tried to instill what Katie was just talking about like this positive parenting like, look what you did, right versus what you did wrong. My husband's sort of the opposite. Although he's definitely changed and gotten a lot more positive. I've seen it over the years. So I'm really happy about that. However, it's I don't know if you see this in your practice, or in your conversations with people. Dr. Sophia, but I just feel like it's really hard in a household when one parent is doing it one way and the other parents doing it another way and you're not really aligns. And you know, you know, he'll also get upset with me if I'm not more aggressive or stern when you do an Aryan that's disciplinarian, which I'm really not because again, I tried to just like, focus on the positive and like, maybe to a false. I tried tried to be disciplined, but it just, it just depends what it is. Right. So I just wonder if that's okay. If people kind of have different ways, like, Is the child still getting the positive pieces? Do you know what I'm saying?
Sophia: 23:43
Yeah, absolutely. And I just want to say, first of all, that your experience is so common, you're not alone. And, you know, sometimes partners find each other because or feel feel good around each other because they complement each other. Right? And when it comes, and then they have children, and that expresses itself in different parenting styles, right? So yes, you know, I see this a lot. And I would say that, yes, your child is still getting the positive benefits of, you know, the approach to parenting that you're choosing, Would it help if there was a little bit more alignment in parenting styles? Sure. But it doesn't mean that you know, your child is missing out in any way from your parenting style. being supportive and positive. I think what the most important thing is, is what is the child seeing as far as how you and your partner are getting along about the styles, right, what are they getting from the nonverbal messages, right, the things that you're not saying because their children pick up a lot on that type of information. Right.
Katie: 24:39
So interesting. Okay, so so that kind of segues us into the next one internal family systems. Let's touch on that a little bit. What what is that modality?
Sophia: 24:50
Oh, this one. So this is actually a crux of my practice these days because it's, for me, and my personal work and professional work has been In just a year, it's something that's catapulted inner transformation for folks. So internal family systems is based on the philosophy that we're all made of parts. So nobody is really singular, like, I'm not just nice, I have a part of me that's really kind. And I have a part of me, that can be mean sometimes, right? And the idea is, let's normalize that, right, Katie has parts like that Amy has parts like that Sophia has parts like that. Everybody who's listening has parts like that. And that's just one example. But the idea is that we all have a variety of parts, right. And, first of all, they're all good parts. You know, even the inner bully or inner critic that I like to call it, that criticizes us all the time, or says we're not good enough and says all of these things, it's actually here for us is here to help us it has our back. And it's doing that to prevent further pain and hurt. So the idea is, let's look at all of these various parts of us, let's try to understand how they emerge because each of them emerged as a protective response to something that happened earlier on in life for us, right, so they're all there for a very specific reason, they wouldn't be there otherwise. So let's get to know these parts of us. Let's attend to them. Again, it's all about that relationship between me and me. So let's show you how to sort of tend to that part, understand it better. And that's where healing can really take place. Right? When we turn inward and we stop, again, hating what we find inside. Right? Again, we're taught that, you know, the critical parts of us are the ones that aren't perfect or fill in the blank for you, right, we all have a lot of similarities. But we also have, you know, some some differences based on how we grew up. But we're all taught that those are parts that we need to again, push away and shove away. It's the same exact idea as what I described with thoughts and emotions, because parts of us express themselves as thoughts and emotions. So again, we're welcoming these parts of us, like you said earlier, Katie, we're learning how to hold them genuinely not just because I have to, but we're learning really how to welcome them into our inner world so that we're no longer having this inner feud, right? Most of us walk around with this inner struggle, where, again, one part of us is like, do this, the other one is do this, and we're just bouncing around life, without any real direction. So with internal family systems, with that sort of approach, we can really help people help ourselves connect to, you know, some real inner wisdom, you know, connect to your true self, your soul, whatever you want to think of it as, so that you can direct the various parts that exist within you rather than being directed by them if that makes sense. Right?
Katie: 27:32
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's, that is that's really interesting. It's, it's kind of like, like, do you feel like when people aren't able to accept these certain parts of themselves, it can almost like manifest in other ways. Also, like, like, it can just start to create problems in life, essentially, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's really interesting. Yeah. So I feel like we, I mean, I don't want to ever skip over mindfulness and self compassion. But I feel like we are familiar and comfortable with those two. So I'd like to move on to somatic awareness. And I feel like you touched on it earlier, is that what Amy was speaking to earlier with, with Jules and recognizing the feelings in his body?
Sophia: 28:13
Absolutely. So the idea is just that, you know, our bodies hold repressed emotions, they hold unreleased things that have happened in our lives, and the body can be an entry point into understanding what's going on within us. Yeah. And again, welcoming that experience, rather than pushing it away can really help pave the way for emotional processing.
Katie: 28:32
Yeah, it's amazing how some people can be really in tune to their bodies. And then some people are not at all they can just go walk through like, My father is a good example. I mean, walk through life entirely where I feel like his head is literally not attached to the rest of his body. It's just the you know, and then there's, and then I'm like, almost, I swing on the opposite end of the spectrum. I'm so hyper aware of my body, like almost to a fault sometimes. But I am very much trying to teach our children about just like being in tune to what your body needs. And if your body's telling you to rest that that's important. And all of that, like we're, we've decided that we're going to label that our superpower in this house because I'm like freakishly into my body. So we're working on that one. But that's I've never heard of it as somatic awareness. So that's, that's great. I
Sophia: 29:19
love I love that Katie, I love seeing that as a superpower. Because it is it is our bodies hold so much wisdom, right? And if we just turn to it and start to speak its language, start to understand the language that it's speaking to us all of the time. We have access to things like oh my gosh, am I hungry? Oh my gosh, there's actually something I need that I'm not addressing and you know, all of these really important things in our lives. So I love hearing that. That that's a superpower in your household and yeah, somatic awareness is the you know, traditional scientific, you know, psychotherapist term, but yes, it's exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. And
Amy: 29:55
I think to our culture has such a I mean, I think the the pen Demmick actually helps this but our culture has such a go, go, go. Don't want like, push through, like, you know, oh, I'll skip lunch I'll like, I mean, our culture, we're just, you see that so much. I think the pandemic really helped people take a step back from that. But I think like what you're saying, I mean, I think you do need to be kind to yourself and listen to your body because I am much better than I used to be in that capacity. But years ago, I mean, I talked about it all the time on the show, I had migraines of vestibular migraines and dizziness, which I still haven't managed, but so much of it, I think, is linked to stress linked to hose film, not drinking of water, just not like taking a step back and really being like, how am I feeling? What else do I need today? Versus just like, going all day long, and like crashing at the end of the day, so it's so just exactly where you get, the more you sort of are in tune. But that's great that kids sorry, that the kids are getting I
Katie: 30:54
was just gonna tell I was just going to have the the example of exactly what you were saying when like, a few years ago, you were working so hard, you were going going going nonstop. And then you went to this charity event, you took the train back and forth in the past out. Like it's just like crazy stuff. Because yeah, we you know, it's like we don't take the time when you aren't listening to your body. It always catches up with you, right?
Amy: 31:16
Yeah, I was that particular that was like, Yeah, long time ago, I was at working like crazy. And then went to Disney World with the kids for a weekend. It was like a long weekend. And we were nonstop walking, did it like running around the entire weekend. And if anyone's been to Disney World, they know how exhausting it is with kids. And you're literally like on your feet all day. Morning tonight. Then I came back. And then I went to New York for a charity event. And I was standing at the event. We're watching a video, and I passed out in front of hundreds of people. And it was the scariest thing. So it's never happened to me before. And that was like the beginning of my journey to like figure out what was going on. But I mean, and it's funny, because I wasn't listening to myself. I wasn't like, Okay, I need to like, because a lot of times you feel and you know, it's funny, this was like our good friends charity events. So we didn't want to miss it. And a lot of times, you feel like, oh, I don't want to not go to something because you feel bad. But it sort of taught me like you have to listen to yourself and like really know, like, Hey, I should have never said yes to this because it's right after I was getting back and I know I need a day to like regroup. And I can't just go like other people can. So anyway, yes, I forgot about that. I was so long ago. But yeah, that was kind of like the beginning of all of my awareness issues. Yeah. Awareness, like blood sugar, or whatever that was. Yeah. Scary. Yeah.
Sophia: 32:35
And I just want to add, thank you so much for sharing that, that really authentic and vulnerable story, Amy. And I just want to add to you know, for everybody listening, it's a journey. It's a journey. Nobody, you know, on this call right now is doing this perfectly. We all struggle with, you know, parts of us that are used to overworking that's been the case for me or over, you know, fill in the blank, because that's what we've been taught to get our self worth from. So it's a process, you know, I don't want to make it sound like it's simple. Oh, just just tune into your body and
Katie: 33:04
how it works, right? It's hard work. Yeah.
Sophia: 33:07
But little by little we can, you know, again, create that invitation for ourselves. That's why I'm so glad that, you know, you guys are having this podcast and sharing this really important information. Yeah, what's
Amy: 33:17
interesting is in social media to the tide is shifting. But there's definitely like this, or at least there was seeing it last now. But definitely see it like this. Work hard, play hard, like, vibe with people where it looks like they're just like, doing all this stuff and not resting. And it again, feeds the beast of people feeling like they have to be doing all of these things and everything perfect. You might have to like hustle like I hate the word hustle. Not that I don't have a soul. We all have hustle, but it's like in doses, right? So these people that are like, I hustle, I get it done. Like you can't be you can't be successful unless you're hustling. 24/7 like, I don't agree with that. And there is that culture that I think we all try to lessen. But the more and more people that I think provide education arounds that you don't need to be that way to be successful and you don't have to be anxious to be successful. And you know, I think people that have anxiety feel that way to like, well, I'm anxious and then I think this way, and then I get this done. Because I thought that way and if I if I take a break or if I'm not anxious, then I'm not going to be successful because I'm going to be too relaxed or I'm going to be too calm. You know, it's like this perpetual. I don't know, I hear about it all the time. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, tangent.
Katie: 34:35
A good one, an important one. So I
Amy: 34:37
and what is what is the intuitive expression of arts? Let's touch on that one real quickly.
Sophia: 34:42
Oh, so? Yes. Um, you know, I think from from what I've seen, it's really important to give voice to the things that live inside us to the thoughts and emotions that live inside of us. And creative expression, whether it's dance, writing, art, whatever it is for you can be such a wonderful tool for healing. And it's just a great complement to all of the other modalities or tools that we've talked about so far today. So yeah, just giving voice giving form, you know, to whatever it is that lives inside of you, you know, some of my clients will draw, you know, that inner critic of theirs, right, just so they can externalize it and have it here, like, Oh, this is, you know, married the critic or whatever it is, that's just one example. Or drawing, you know, whatever you feel or, you know, molding clay into something or dancing, to express this, this outrage that exists inside of you, you know, again, our bodies are so attuned to what's going on in our emotional world. And by giving it form we're giving it you know, a way out, essentially, hmm,
Katie: 35:43
I love that.
Amy: 35:44
I love that. I love that, that that. I think I when I when I read that I was thinking about I grew up dancing, and I'm a dancer, and I was thinking about, I haven't done it in a while. But I used to, like, kind of go somewhere and dance just to like, I don't know, be free. And then also, I think with music, if you're in a bad mood, I mean, I think that's like the like yesterday, I was jamming out my car to good music and like that feeling can just put you into such a different state. So like, I think music is such a key. Like, I don't know, it can change your mindset so quickly, I think.
Katie: 36:18
Yeah, absolutely. Yes. And self expression. Also, just I think that that piece is really great. I'm trying to get my kids to be well Madeline's, like really into art, my older ones. I'm trying to get her to paint more and everything. I think that's, I can't paint to save my life. So or draw or anything. So I'd have to find your own expression. But I love that. And then you also use energy medicine, which I'm super curious, because we our episode that has just aired this week is is energy healing. It's with a Reiki Master. Is that what you're speaking to similar stuff?
Sophia: 36:54
Absolutely, yeah, Reiki is one form of energy healing, and I love being inclusive of all of the modalities that can really help us. And again, emotions also express themselves as energy that courses through our body. And, you know, we find when we again, become aware of our body, or so much of that, you know, there are blockages there are blockages in that energy, there are traumatic things that have happened to us where energy can no longer flow. And so when we tune into that, and you know, apply, you know, certain modalities or have energy medicine to complement certain modalities, it can really be wonderful. Yeah, and I firmly believe that, you know, energy medicine, along with other things can be really a really great tool to help people become empowered in their ability to heal and their ability to, you know, improve the course of their lives.
Amy: 37:42
What's another form of energy medicine, like we know Reiki because we just interviewed someone about it. But what's another example of that?
Sophia: 37:50
That's a good question. Um, there are different terms for energy, you know, tea and prana, and different traditions, as far as energy healing modalities. I know back in the day, I was trained in, for example, ancestral healing, that's another you know, term that practitioners might use. That one, you know, wasn't hands on. Reiki tends to be hands on or, or hands off, but hands is where the energy comes through. That one is more of a Mind's Eye imagined process. Yeah, so ancestral healing is another I'm sure there are many, many more. But yeah, that's just another example.
Katie: 38:31
I think it's really beautiful, how you're inclusive of, of all of this. I mean, it's kind of like Eastern meats, Western meat, you know, the energy healing piece, I'm sure there's a lot of doctors that maybe turn their nose up at it, because it's, you know, maybe like a little mystical, and it's very east Eastern driven and everything. So I think it's, it's just, it's super cool. I mean, it's, you know, it's like the happiness doctor, you can kind of bring it all to the table. I love it. So, you have also written a book, tell us about the happiness journal, because I feel like I could use this what tell us what it is.
Sophia: 39:11
The happiest journal is my second book, actually. It's a book that I wanted to write for a really long time, there are, you know, 52 topics 52 weeks different topic each week in a facet of true happiness, something that we know through practice and life experience and research to predict happiness and the questions are deep. I'm a deep lady. So the questions really get you to become introspective and really think and look inside and say, okay, you know, how can I bring this into my life if I'm going to be intentional about creating true happiness in my life? I need to start making choices to support that right. And so the questions will help you to discover some of those things that you can start doing and you know, you don't have to do all 52 of them, right. It's a journey just like everything else. You can choose the ones that speak to you right now. Oh, and it can be a book that you use for a long time to come. But yeah, I believe strongly in the value of questions. And that's how I actually do a lot of my therapeutic coaching is, you know, guidance through questions, because you are the leader of your own life, you know, I can have a sense of where we're going, and I know where I'd like you to be. But at the end of the day, it's not about me, it's about you and your life, right? And so asking the right questions at the right time is incredibly powerful. And in this case, you have a book where you can just sit down and do it on your own, you know, you
Amy: 40:33
know, it's like an actual journal, you can write in in prompt, that's, I love that I love like an interactive journal book like that. That's nice. I think everyone could use that. It's, we talked about gratitude journaling a lot. So that's like the good, good way to do it. Right, gratitude and answering questions through that book. So thanks for sharing that. What was your first book about?
Sophia: 40:52
You're gonna love this, it was the five minute gratitude journal. Amazing. Yeah. And that people love that one, because there are prompts you know, so you're not sitting there sort of thinking of a list of things that I'm happy for, which actually sometimes turns people into a less positive emotional state because they can't find something they're grateful for. So we have prompts, which really invites people into that experience of gratitude. And it is meant to really be a five minute practice, right? All the things that we talk about aren't meant to turn your world upside down and make it really hard for you. Change doesn't happen when it feels hard. So the idea is really to make things feel manageable, and actionable and practical and simple. And that's really what this book was designed for. You know,
Katie: 41:35
I love that because we have so many people talk about their gratitude practice. So many of our guests that come on, and I have been wanting to start it, but there is something a little daunting about it. Like what you just said like so all you do it first thing in the morning, and I gotta think through and so some days, it's like very it comes to me, but some days, I'm like, tired and groggy. And, and I'm not, you know, I maybe I'm not feeling super positive just yet. So then so then I feel stressed and pressure that I'm not. So it just doesn't pan out. You know what I mean?
Amy: 42:05
So overwhelming. Yeah,
Katie: 42:06
it's Yeah, so I don't know, I need I feel like if I had that it would be a tool, I would really, really use that help just to help me get into the habit of it, which we know the power behind it. I mean, I've heard so many people say when you start your day off with a gratitude journal just like changes the entire tone of your day. So yeah, I love that. And some
Amy: 42:26
people, I was just listening to a podcast recently, and someone was saying that they practice gratitude every morning, but they just like, they don't even write, they get up. And it's like, they're still in bed. And they just think about five things like right away could be small things. I woke up today, I, you know, I'm breathing, I whatever. But that really struck me too. Because sometimes, like I'll sit in bed, and it's just like, that's a good thing to do really quickly to just like five things as soon as you get up and you don't write them down. But I think writing is more helpful, because it's like, you're actually I just when you do the written word, I think it is probably more powerful. But on days that you don't, you could just think about it. I agree. Yeah, that's
Sophia: 43:02
a great alternative. Amen.
Katie: 43:04
Great. All right. So we touched a bit on how our listeners can find you earlier, but I just want to say exactly, your, your website and everything. So because I'm sure people are going to want to reach out to you for your coaching programs. And also, we should mention you do group coaching as well, right?
Sophia: 43:20
Absolutely, yes, I have a four phase group coaching program that takes you through the deep, but very practical process of learning what it takes to really, you know, heal yourself emotionally. So through four phases, you know, you're really taken through the process of healing, and you have the online work to support you. And then we have group meetings to support you and even some one on one one on one sessions with me as well.
Katie: 43:48
That's, that's fantastic. And the website is
Sophia: 43:52
the happiness doctor.com
Katie: 43:54
Can't forget that one. That's an easy one to remember. All right, so why don't we do our rap session? We have a couple of fun questions for you. So I want to know, what is your favorite wellness or beauty hack?
Sophia: 44:10
Alright, so this one's gonna sound a little cheesy, but it's very apropos given what we just talked about. But I do acknowledge that it's probably a little cheesy and a little corny. But I will say that it's gratitude. And the reason I say that is because, you know, I have a toolbox a really big toolbox of happiness hacks, right? And at the end of the day, I know for myself that if I can just invite gratitude into this moment, and really feel it not just write it down, not just you know, pretend that you know but really feel it. I have an instant smile. I have an instant smile. And you know, if there was any beauty hack at all available, I think smiling is it everyone looks beautiful when they smile, so I'm gonna be cheesy and I'm gonna go with that.
Amy: 44:53
But that is it all I know. I love it. That's
Katie: 44:56
such a good one. Yeah, smiling for sure. That's and it's contagious. till the smile is always contagious. Do you your gratitude moments do? Are they just like, do you do them throughout the day? Or is it like, you know, like one where you sit down and you go through the whole thing like we're discussing? Are they like little blips that you do throughout the day?
Sophia: 45:13
Oh, great question, Katie. So, I usually do, you know, the actual written journaling in the morning, and then I do sporadically throughout the day day, kind of, like Amy alluded to earlier, you know, I'll have spontaneous moments of gratitude. You know, for something that's happening right now, and again, I think I've just trained my brain a little bit to to notice those things. So yes, also spontaneously throughout the day, just feeling and noticing without any, you know, writing or anything like that. That's cool.
Katie: 45:40
Yeah. You heard that from the happiness Doctor herself. That's a genius one. All right, this next one we call our five minute flow. You just got out of the shower and dry it off. And Uber just alerted you. They are five minutes away. What are you going to do to get in that Uber on time? Like, what are your holy grails, your go twos? What do you do?
Sophia: 45:58
I love that question. First, I'm going to calm my nervous system, because that feels really stressful. And then I'm going to put on something really comfy for me, the fabric that I'm wearing above and beyond the brands or anything, you know, for me just makes or breaks how I feel when I actually get out into the world. So I'm going to put on something really comfy that feels good on my skin. I'm going to put on some concealer, and maybe a little bit of mascara. And well actually before that I should probably hydrate so hydrate my face a little maybe take a sip of water and then apply concealer and some mascara and head out the door. Yeah, just a little bit. I'm a fan of the natural look. And it works where I live. So yeah, five minutes is doable.
Katie: 46:41
Nice. Nice. That's good. I like the fabric one. That's the first time we've gotten that about what you put on your body.
Amy: 46:46
Yeah. And it's funny. I feel like I do that too. But I never thought about it that way. But I always love like cozy and things that like feel really good. And yeah, it's not a good feeling to be uncomfortable on what you're wearing. I totally agree with that. Good one.
Katie: 47:00
Amy, one chick last one.
Amy: 47:01
Okay, and how do you maintain your daily nirvana? Which is sort of captured? But any other thoughts to that?
Sophia: 47:08
Hmm, that's a great question. I think just to, you know, consistent practice of being aware of what's going on inside, right and trying not to fool myself, right? Because we there are ways that we fool ourselves into thinking that we're okay. You know, we put on fake smiles and we go out into the world pretending we're okay. So that other people don't think there's anything going on. And we do that with ourselves too. Right? Oh, everything's okay. I'm still getting everything done. But really, yeah, are you okay? So I try to, I try to have a BS meter with myself, you know, operating throughout the day where, you know, I just check in regularly and say, okay, you know, what, like, what's going on right now? What parts of Europe? Is there anything you need? Is there any part of you that needs a little bit of self compassion, because I feel like if we don't actually take a few moments to check in, we miss those opportunities to be there for ourselves. So yeah, for me, it's just periodically checking in, even if just once a day, but really knowing myself like, are letting myself know I'm here for you. Like, I got you. I'm here for you. Because, you know, you've heard it before, if we're not there for ourselves, and who else will be. But again, it takes some intention, it takes a little bit of a conscious practice of checking in.
Katie: 48:18
And you know what else, it also keeps you very authentic, because you're staying very true to yourself. And that, that authenticity, I just feel like it exudes right. I mean, which is what we all strive for, is to be very true to ourselves. So I really liked that one.
Amy: 48:34
Okay, so I have a quick product review slash something I'm loving right now. And if we're thinking about like a quick, favorite wellness or beauty hack, I would say this has been my one for the last two weeks. So I love like a good spray, like a like a toner spray, because like dry skin. So spraying things to make me feel hydrated always makes me feel good. So I was at Trader Joe's a couple of weeks ago, and I don't go there that much, because it's not near my house. But when I do go there, I like like to look at all the new things. And I happened to be looking in their beauty section and I found this Trader Joe's rosewater facial toner. And it's $5. And I have something similar from the brand Kopari that's $25 that I use all the time, but I ran out of it. So I was like, I'm just gonna try this and like see, but honestly, it's like the same thing. And it's $5 and it smells really good. It's just like a very light sound. And I just kind of I'm just spraying for everyone that's listening, spraying my face. And I keep it at my desk and I just kind of like sprayed or it's just like a little moment of nirvana. I have to say because it smells really good. And Katie's thinking smells really good. And I know it just makes me feel good. It's just like a quick refresher. Just it's it's great. So I love it. It's $5 and Trader Joe's who knew that event sold this kind of stuff, but I love it and it's great. So that's my little thing I'm loving this week and Dr. Sophia we always end with A mantra to set the tone for the listener. So the one that I think is very relevant to our conversation, is this. The energy or it's something that I found online. I don't know if it's a mantra or a quote, but I'll but I'll say it. It's the energy for 2022 is only do what feels genuinely right in your intuition and letting everything else go.
Katie: 50:22
I love that. That's great. Yeah, totally agree.
Amy: 50:25
That gave me that gave me some inspiration. And by the way, fun fact, I found it on Janet Jackson's Instagram feed. Oh, love it. Oh, even better, random, better. But it just resonated with me. So I wanted to share that with everybody. So thank you so much, Dr. Sophia, for being on everyone. Check out the happiness doctor on Instagram and her website. She's amazing. We'd love to have you back one day you just emanate happiness, and I feel like so good going into my day now. So thank you so much for being with us.
Sophia: 50:53
Oh, thank you for having me. Katie and Amy, I appreciate it.
Amy: 50:57
Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye.