This is a full transcript of the Nirvana Sisters podcast Episode 47 First Love Yourself with Dr. Alisha Reed, the FLY Pharmacist and Self-Care Strategist.

Editor’s Note: Please know that this podcast transcript is automatically generated and may contain minor errors such as typos and word switches. For more information, be sure to listen to the podcast here or view our podcast episode guide.

Amy Welcome to Nirvana sisters podcast where we take the intimidation out of well being and beauty to help you achieve your highest state your nirvana. We are sisters in law and your hosts. I'm Amy Sherman.

Katie 0:18

And I'm Katie Chandler. So let's get into some real conversation

Amy 0:28

Welcome back to Nirvana sisters Nirvana sisters family. It's Amy and Katie and we are here with Dr. Alisha Reed and so excited to talk to her. We met online and we've been wanting to chat with her for so long. She's got amazing content on our Instagram and has such an interesting story. So I read a little bit about Alicia before we get into it. So the fly pharmacist, self care strategist and founder of lifestyle brand fly with Alisha Reed. Dr. Reid was born and raised in New Orleans, where she attended Xavier University of Louisiana and received a Doctorate of pharmacy degree. Dr. Reed has been a licensed pharmacist for almost two decades and has seen firsthand how self care impacts health in the community. The Fly pharmacists acts as an advocate to empower and educate her community to make self care a priority in their lives. As a self care strategist, Dr. Reed provides the tools and training necessary to create a successful self care plan. She is a widow mom who believes that self care is non negotiable, totally agree with that and is determined to break that generational curse that strong women don't take breaks. I can't wait to hear more about that such an interesting thing to think about. Self Care has become such a buzzword. But the truth is, is that self care is whatever you need it to be. After losing her husband, Dr. Reed wanted to normalize grief by publicly sharing her grief journey while continuing to practice exceptional self care. Dr. Reed moderates, a widow support group and hosts the fly widow podcast and one quote I also just wanted to say I was reading in your Southern Living article, congratulations, by the way, and it said, I love this quote it says everyone thinks that self care has to be a spotlight or massage or pedicure she says but it's doing whatever you need to do to feel like you again, which I really, really loved. And that really resonated with me. So welcome to the show. Dr. Reed. We're so excited to have you

Alisha 2:20

for having me. Thank you for having me. This is one of my favorite topics. Yes, we're excited to get to share more with you. Yeah, us too. So

Amy 2:30

we always like to start the show with our nirvana of the week or day, something that brought us joy this week, something that, you know, brought a smile to our face. So I will pass it off to you, Katie.

Katie 2:42

Thank you, Amy. Well, it is such a pleasure to meet you. Dr. Reed. Should we call you Alisha? Dr. Reed

Alisha 2:48

Alisha is fine.

Katie 2:50

Okay, great. So yeah, it's great to have you here. My nirvana of the day. It happened on Friday, I think we had our, like, first day that it felt like spring here. I'm in Connecticut on the East Coast, Alisha. And I feel like it's spring everywhere. But here. We're the last to get it. And I just spent the day outside with my daughter with my four year old after school for like two hours, just you know, playing around exploring the yard, taking a walk, having her on her bike, all that fun stuff. So it was really nice to just be out in nature again, and not be freezing cold and the fresh air and you know, the sounds of spring. It was great. It brought me a lot of nirvana. What about you, Amy?

Amy 3:29

That's so good. Mine was yesterday morning, I spent I don't know, maybe a half an hour doing a recipe with Jules, my my younger son who's 12. And he's been a little, you know, he's in middle school. He just started middle school this year. And he's been a little, you know, he's getting a little sassy. And doesn't like to spend as much time with me talks back. And so he wanted to make this like dessert recipe thing. And so I was like, okay, so we did it together. And it was really nice to kind of just step back and like, read a recipe and get the ingredients out and do it step by step because I feel like in my kids world, Alicia, I have a 12 and a 15 year old. And I know you have a son too. Like they're running around and everything so quick. It's like, Can we order dinner? Let's buy it on Amazon. Like there's no pressor virens I feel like so just to like read the recipe and like do everything step by step in the order and wait. And yeah, it was just nice to kind of take a moment and spend time with Him and do that. And he was like, cute and like I loved just doing that little project with him. So it was fun. It brought me a lot of joy yesterday morning. So what about you?

Alisha 4:35

So we had our air show here in New Orleans. It's been five years since the Blue Angels performed or did their flight show in New Orleans. So my son and I, we went there and it was really good to be outside. The weather was perfect. Not a cloud in the sky. We watched all the airplanes do their tricks, and it was a real cool mom and Sunday. You Do you think about what we can do together and it was just great. He got a little cub scout patch, because that's something that he needed to do to check up on his list. And we just had a great day, eating chicken tenders and fries and watching all the planes do their tricks. And one of the most interesting things was ourselves, my cell phone wouldn't work. Because we were in like an air Siena airspace, we're on the naval base. And, you know, sometimes we talk about disconnecting from our phones, but I couldn't send anything, I couldn't post anything. And I was essentially without the use of a phone for four hours. And that, for me was really good, because we were actually just present with each other. And it was a great day.

Katie 5:47

So that sounds amazing. How old is he?

Alisha 5:49

Six going on?

Katie 5:53

I understand that. That's a fun age, though. It's really Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great. Nice. All right. Well, should we get right into it? I want to kick it off. And I elite, Alisha, if you could give our audience a bit of a background? Within your career, you're a pharmacist? How did how did you get into all of that? And and how did it? How did your career really get you diving deep into self care? How did that come about? Sure. So

Alisha 6:22

I've been a pharmacist for 18 years, almost 19. And I was always interested in helping people and science and all that and but I didn't want to go to school forever. You know, like doctors, you spent all that time in school. So pharmacy was a six year program. And I felt like that was long enough to get into the profession, the health care profession, really enjoyed it did retail which pharmacies, CVS, Walgreens all those big boxes, that, you know, as a pharmacist, that's where you will you go when you first start, but it was just so busy. And we were always rushing, anxious, didn't have time to eat didn't have you no brakes, and long hours. And I really thought about like, that's not what I want for life, you know, I don't want to be rushing all the time and have anxiety. So I stepped away from retail and chose another area of pharmacy, which was managed care. And I was able to work for a health plan. And, and that we focus on like a lot of metrics and just checking to see how people managed their health. And it was that at that moment, I realized that we can do a lot to prevent health conditions, and you know, these diseases, disease states, and as a pharmacist, you know, I fill the prescriptions, but cost a lot of money for people, it's not always accessible. So I wanted to think about ways that people could help with their health conditions and do things that didn't require a lot of money, you know, instead of having something most times yes, you do have to take your medicine people because I don't want people to say, oh, no, I don't take my medicine, but just being able to counsel patients on lifestyle modifications, because that's big. You have diabetes, and you take your medicine every day. But if you aren't following the diet or exercising, you know, it's really not going to work. So for me, that was the whole connection to pharmacy and the self care world. So I launched a brand. In 2014, I thought of the brand it was Nola Bougie. And it was for women, because I wanted women to understand that. Even though we're all moms and wives and caregivers, that we were still women. And I didn't want to have to give up the things that I love because I chose to be a mom or a wife. So out of that brand, it was just about inspiring women to just be their best selves. And I did that officially launched in 2017. And in 2019, I lost my husband. And when my husband passed, I didn't want to do it anymore. Because I felt like that was something that we did together. And I was done. I was done with it. And I didn't want to do it. And my audience reached out and they said, you know, you inspired us to do so much as a mom and as a wife that you can't give up. You can't leave us here. And we want you to do inspire yourself, do all the stuff that you're telling us. We want you to do. And I thought about it and said you know what? I need to keep going but I didn't want to keep going as Nola bougie so I changed i rebranded as fly. So flies first love yourself because it was always about loving you. And I learned that on this grief journey. I had to figure out who I was again, because I was a mom before yours. I was a wife for, you know, almost six. And now my life was had changed. So it was just all about loving myself. And I continue to take the women on the journey with me. And that's where I am now.

Katie 10:14

That's amazing. It's so empowering your story and your journey, I kind of want to unpack it a little bit, save a few questions within it. To circle to go to go back to management care, that I've never heard of this i i see pharmacist I get I have autoimmune conditions, I have to take so much medication, it's obnoxious. And I see these pharmacists. And just like you said, they are busting their butts all day long. And it seems like a thankless job. They're just over and over and over and over again, new customer, new customer, new customer, it looks like it's a really long day and really hard work. So this Manage management cares that we set our mind and manner

Alisha 10:54

managed care and health care plan. So when you have your insurance card, and you know you fill your prescription there are pharmacists working with the health plan to determine what medications should be offered or should be covered. So a lot of times, you may fill a prescription and they'll say, oh, this medication is not covered by your health plan, or it needs a prior authorization. So as a pharmacist, I was a part of the team that research the medicines to figure out which ones were best for our patients. And then also, on the other end, I talk to patients about their health condition. So I did what's called medication therapy management. And that's when you do a whole review of medications with the patient, and talk to them about their health condition. So you know, with your autoimmune disorder, we would talk about your medications, but then also talk about what you're doing, like let's say, stress, I mean, stress is a number one cause of like flare ups for a lot of conditions. So we were talking about your stress management, like what are you doing for stress? Like, what is your diet look like? So all of that goes into healthcare. And for me, it's almost like self care as healthcare. Because after all those things work together, not just taking the prescription.

Katie 12:17

That's yeah, I'm sure that was probably a lot more fulfilling, also, just generally speaking, than being behind the counter at a CVS or something to which is really, really cool. And so you're not doing that anymore. You are still so I still

Alisha 12:29

am. I work for a hospital now. And it's kind of like the same thing. It's not managed care, but I'm doing home based primary care. So I'm also a member of a care team, like I was before and get a chance to talk to, to patients and review their medicines and give information and help. So it's very similar. And I find that that's like my sweet spot. That's what I love to do. And most people ask, Will you ever quit your job? Like, I don't know. I mean, I don't know if I would, but I love it that you enjoy it right? I enjoy it. So it's not something that I dread doing or you know, going to work. So I enjoy I know it's rewarding.

Amy 13:15

And you probably learn new things by all the different people that you meet and you probably hear so many different stories so I can imagine it's really interesting and really sorry to hear about your husband that's just I can't I mean it's just so hard to go through but really proud to see that you have powered on and that your community like has has encouraged you to do so because I'm sure it's helped you heal so yeah, tough, tough stuff. Okay, so moving right along. Let's talk about self care and beauty because all of your content on Instagram has so many like fun tidbits about all the new stuff you're trying and all the new things you're doing. So tell us about kind of what you look for in products and kind of what your what your favorite things are to shop for and look for. I mean your skin is glowing, literally guys, their skin is so gorgeous. It is.

Alisha 14:11

Thank you go. I also find that the sell the beauty products, I really enjoy looking at the ingredients. I think it's probably because of the pharmacy.

Amy 14:25

Yeah, but they are more than most people.

Alisha 14:29

And I think about you know, chemistry and like being in the labs and all that. So for me, it's like I really like to look at the labels. Obviously, less is better, you know less ingredients is better. So I look at that. Also look at you know whether or not there are additives or you know, the parabens, a lot of things that shouldn't be in products. It's clean beauty, is what I'm really paying attention to. One of the most interesting things is that cosmetics are not regulated by the Food and Drug Administration. And whereas if you get a prescription, you know, it is but not cosmetics. So essentially anyone can put something out there. And, you know, people buy it because marketing in you know, they don't pay really pay attention. So I want to be that person to educate and share. Okay, this is a good product. So not necessarily endorsing and promoting products, which is something that I really try to stress as well. I'm really looking at ingredients and whether or not it works for me, and I like to share that it's not so much a sponsored post or anything. So I like to educate and let you know, my followers know, this is what you need to look for. You need to pay attention to how its manufacture where what's in it, you know, check your allergies because there's a lot of things that you may not be able to use because you know if you have a shellfish allergy, so that is my that's my like standard like what I'm when I'm picking up a product and looking at the things that I'm loving right now or like what I'm really into is just clean skin. I'm not so much into makeup, I love makeup. But I find that if you take care of your skin, then you know makeup is optional. Yeah, totally.

Amy 16:26

It's like the cherry on top. Yeah. So

Alisha 16:29

I really focus on serums and collagen. You know, I'm really big on that right now. Just making sure that I have the collagen and the probiotics, diet. All of that goes into like my self care and beauty routine. So I shared the other day about collagen. My nutritionist has me mixing it in the collagen powder the proteins in my coffee, because we're looking at my diet and ways to incorporate protein. And she's like, why don't you try the collagen peptides? So I've been doing that for about a month now. And I like Which brand is it? Is it the this is the Vital Proteins? Yeah, so I'm having that. Um, they also have the water, the collagen water, the shots. A lot of people don't realize it helps with the skin elasticity. So you know, you want to make sure that you are supplementing the collagen. You want to find good collagen, because there are a lot of things out there and so it's clean. I also look at the probiotics, the supplements, I make sure that you know I have all the vitamins

Katie 17:37

do you have a probiotic that you like, specifically?

Alisha 17:40

I don't have a specific probiotic. I mean, I'll be honest, I just make sure that you know, it's a good quality product. Um, Trader Joe's and I you know, we'll get to that get to that out and pick up something at Trader Joe's or Whole Foods. Um, there are a lot of skincare products that have probiotics in them. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know though. You know, you can get a moisturizer. So those are the I stick to collagen. Vitamin C, of course. And right now the hydration like I've been adding those liquid hydration packs. Electrolytes to water. Yeah. Be more hydrated, especially with the warmer weather. Yeah.

Amy 18:25

There you go.

Alisha 18:26

So for me, it's really about inside out. Yeah, no, I really want to take want to take care of, you know, inside and then you know, the skin itself.

Amy 18:38

Right, then you're young gets better and then you just put serums and all those things that just enhance you mentioned serums what serums Do you like? Moisturizing or Yeah,

Alisha 18:48

so like moisturizing serum, was just checking out this Hyaluronic serum that I picked up. So I am into making sure that my skin is moisturized. That's a big thing for me, especially going out in our weather. It's very humid, but just being out in the sun for me, so I you know saram is great. Especially at nighttime. I love like my time series. I'd laugh because there's a meme that something like it has you looking like a glazed doughnut. Yeah. So like, under eyes is you know and vitamin C serums are a big for me. Yeah,

Katie 19:27

yeah, the vitamin C, your skin is so bright. It's it's that vitamin C two I always notice a difference. So I'm using my vitamin C and I'm not it's interesting that you mentioned the allergies because I feel like a lot of people don't think about that when they're looking at their skincare routine. Like my mom has a latex allergy and I can't tell you how many times she called me and she said I picked up a new product and now my eyes are swollen shut because it has that in there and she doesn't think to check for it. And like you said also like shellfish allergies and everything that can be found in skincare. Yeah, um, yeah, that's right. Actually, no one heard

Alisha 20:01

that I got a facial HydraFacial and the esthetician say like, at the end, we're doing a ceremony. She's like, Hey, do you have a shellfish allergy. And I said, why? And she said, Oh, the, the serum that I use has like the glucosamine and chondroitin. So a lot of people take that for like cartilage and you know, the jump bone and joints. But it's in the serum that she had. And she said, I need to know because if I put this on, you have a shellfish allergy. And I was like, thanks for asking. I wonder how many people use these products and don't ask?

Katie 20:37

Yeah, I'm sure and have no idea that Yeah, yeah. 100%

Alisha 20:41

Yeah. So that's definitely something that I think people don't pay attention to. I know, they don't you know, picking up skincare, you don't think about a food allergy.

Amy 20:51

Right? Right. It's so it's so true. Okay, moving on, because I want to ask you, because I saw this on your Instagram a while ago, and we were DMing about it. And I want to hear about this because so we had a dermatologist on our show a while ago Dr. Nazarian who told us about QUO first time I had heard of that and I was like, Oh my God, I need to look into this ASAP. But I saw that you looked into it. I don't know if you've got the procedure, but tell us all about it. And for reference, this is the cellulite Yes. Yeah. Treatment. So yeah, girl about it.

Alisha 21:20

Yes. So I actually I went when I saw I was like, oh my goodness, like I need this I was

Amy 21:26

it like at a doctor's office or one of those men thought yes, a

Alisha 21:29

dermatologist. And then so I went in and I listened to it. I didn't get it done. But I did the consultation because honestly, I thought that I really needed it. But I didn't have a lot of the cellulite on my on my on my butt. So what I did have, it was like some type of dimple. That may be like a birthmark, but what I was told was that it wasn't going to fill it. Like it wasn't going to do anything, if I got it. So I'm like, alright, well, I'll just live with it. It's, it's cute. But the way the product works is it helps to release like the fiber, the fiber fibers so that the skin have flattened out because a lot of people think that it's fat. You know, this Oh, I'm fat because they think only fat people and have these, you know, these dimples or these areas, but it really works to release the five release of fiber so that it smooths out the skin. And what's interesting is, as a pharmacist, I recognize that the name of the medicine like the the the the generic name, should I say and I was like, Oh, that is I know that that's something that's another drug and they say oh yeah, it is used for something else. So I thought it was interesting that the company found another use for the media, which is very similar. Not it's not the same as Botox, but you do know like Botox can be used for obviously cosmetic, but it's also used for migraines and bladder and wedding. So it's a lot of has a lot of other uses. So they found that this particular quot was a it was you know, able to be used for the dimples. And I saw that I thought it was amazing. And there are women there who were really excited about it and wanted to use it. One of the side effects, minimal side effects, but I think it was bruising, which was you know what they said, but I don't I didn't feel like it was something that was super. I wouldn't stop me from getting it. I just

Amy 23:31

And when they say it like actually works because there hasn't been anything for cellulite that actually works.

Alisha 23:37

Again, I mean, looking at the photos, it says they do show before and afters. Yeah, you know, you do see, see see some results. But I always like to I want to see somebody that has a lot of it. Like, you know, right, like major transformation I want to just had a little bit then yeah, but as someone who had like all these areas and then it gets more expensive. Because you have to you have to use so so much of the product. Yeah, now they say that the longevity of it. It's supposed to last a long time.

Amy 24:11

Yeah, I was gonna like what did they say? Is it permanent? Or is it just

Alisha 24:15

yeah, if they said it's supposed to last for a while it hasn't been studied that long. Yeah. Are you gonna say okay after five years, you know, like with Botox we know you know, after a couple of months you have to go back and you know, get get the area redone. But before that, she said right now it's just the studies, they don't have enough long enough studies to know if it's, you know, permanent or not.

Amy 24:39

And injured. How is it administered?

Alisha 24:41

It's a little injections. Okay. It's funny, I still have my, my papers. So yeah, it was like injected, and it's the package of three. So it's like a series of three injections and I know Till that, I would probably need a fourth treatment because it was like a deep dimple. Mm hmm. Sounds like oh, well, that's to me. That's the part that I really want to get rid of. Right. And they it goes by the severity like mild, moderate or severe. But, I mean, if you if someone wants to get it, I mean, I think it's worth it. If you have, you know, small enough areas. Yeah, it's not something that I feel like would alleviate, when you would just have a completely smooth, but

Amy 25:34

you do seem to get a commie Amy looks very interested. Well, this is my biggest complaint because I always have I always have like, dimples on like, the back of my thighs and the size and it's always bothered me, but there's nothing you can really do about it. So when she told me about this, I was like, Oh, my God, that's so interesting. So yes, I'm definitely going to look into it at some point for

Alisha 25:56

sure. 10 minutes, like 10 minutes.

Amy 25:59

That's crazy. Yeah, I did read or I feel like maybe Dr. Jones area told us that, like the bruising is pretty bad afterwards. So you just have to do it. Like, when you know, you're going to be covered up

Alisha 26:09

like, so that's like, that's like the photo that they you know that they get somebody it's like that not that bad to me. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So it's like, hard to say animal. Yeah. Like, I want to see someone. Right. Information. I thought that I had a lot and like, you actually don't have that much. Oh, okay.

Amy 26:32

Like, now I feel better. Okay. Like,

Alisha 26:35

I'll always love to read and hear about, like, new thing. Me too. So that will

Katie 26:41

there's a new one that I want to know if either of you guys have heard about have you heard about Lipo Light?

Amy 26:47

Like a light I want to

Alisha 26:49

when you're awake. You're awake. Yeah. And it's just like, light for a week or something.

Katie 26:55

It's an but it's a it's a it's like a light treatment instead of the cool sculpting where they freeze. Okay, it's the opposite. It's it's a light, I'm gonna actually go talk to get a console about it this week. But it's just like, if you have trouble spots, you know, like, oh, wow, I've got the love handles that I can never seem to get rid of. It's for that. And it's a it's a light where the heat. I don't know that it's more of like a red light or an infrared light or the heat or something is supposed to dissolve and loosen up the fat cells. And I think it's less invasive and safer than the CoolSculpting Oh, wow. Which I've recently who was it? Amy? Amy's mom sent us an article. I think it was Linda Bandula. Yeah, it's been sculpting and had a horrible adverse reaction to it. Did you see that, Alisha? Oh, yeah.

Amy 27:43

If you read if you Google all over, it's yeah.

Katie 27:47

It's crazy. It completely deformed her body. So I mean, you know, it's that was she was allergic to something that they were using. So that was a one off. But But yeah, so I just wanted to see if either because I've heard about a

Alisha 28:00

plastic surgeon doing a week labeled like a week like, oh, that's different. Okay. Yeah. And I'll say, Oh, wow, I wouldn't want to be a week.

Amy 28:10

You're like, knock me out? Oh,

Katie 28:12

yeah. That doesn't sound like fun. Alright, I want to talk about your love yourself Self care to do list because we see them on Instagram. And I think they're brilliant. So tell us a little bit about that.

Alisha 28:28

So the idea for that came about? Because I realized a lot of people didn't really know what to do for self care. Mm hmm. Yeah. Always ask to say what did you do for self care this week? And then all the answers were manicure? pedicure. Right? Know that. There's other things that you could do besides that, like, oh, right, like really what, like, whatever you want to do. So I started that putting together the to do list. For a little background for my social media. I used to share things to do, like places like events, you know, what's going on in the week on the weekend. And a lot of people enjoy that. And I said, Well, I want to change it up to where people don't feel like they have to go somewhere. Or like it has to be like something that everybody who's going to like a concert and wants to make it easy so that I've picked 12 things. It's like a little bingo card and my followers from out of state made me realize that I have things on there that only local people can do. So think about that. Like okay, well, I'll tell them you get a free free square or something. They love it because it gives people things to do. They like to check it off and I look for things that don't cost money. Because that's trouble for a lot of people. They don't want to spend the money, things that don't cost a lot have a lot of time because those are the two major ones. You know, I don't want to I don't Have time. And the idea is to make people realize how they that they can incorporate self care into their daily lives. And it doesn't have to be something that takes a lot of time or it takes a lot of effort or it's hard. So I love doing those.

Amy 30:16

Yeah, I am. I really liked it too. And I think our listeners will like it, because it's like, we're all about sort of this approachable, accessible, wellness or well being. And this is exactly that. It's like, I'm just reading a few that you have on marches lists. So like, you know, call a friend, instead of texting, have brunch in a new spot, drink some water or support a local business, buy some flowers, do something fun. It's just like small bite sized, really attainable things that help with your well being. So I love that. So we look forward to seeing those every month. Yeah,

Katie 30:47

so yeah, it's true. And it's to your point, like everyone self care, a lot of people have this idea of what it should be, and that it's usually very time cumbersome, or it's going to cost a lot of money or very extravagant, very, like, you know, just over the top. And the littlest thing, like you just said, pick up the phone and have a nice phone call instead of a text, you know, sit back with a cup of coffee, call your best friend and chat it up for an hour that is loving yourself. And yeah, you know, those really simple things that I think some people are so busy in life, and they don't, they don't put themselves into caring for themselves first, of course, are not going to think that is self care. So it's they're, they're great little reminders, I really appreciate it.

Amy 31:27

And also, I wanted you to elaborate on what I talked about in the beginning around strong women don't take breaks, because it's so true, like this stigma of like, you gotta hustle. And you can't, you got to grind it out. So talk to us about what your

Unknown Speaker 31:42

Yeah, I ran across a quote A while ago, and it said like, there's no award for overworked female of the year or something. And I was like, That is so true. And I don't know where my I think it's obviously it's generational. As women feel like we have to be busy, or we have to do all the things. You know, even as moms, you know, there's like the soup. They're the super moms out there. Because and we call them super moms because we feel like they get everything done. They show it for everybody. But like, I don't want to be that I don't want I don't want to be that supermom. Mm hmm. And because I'm if I choose to not do all of those things, that doesn't make me a bad mom. And I really wanted to change that, that narrative and have let people understand that it's okay to take breaks, it's okay to say no. It's okay to sleep in. Like I don't understand. It doesn't, it doesn't make you a better mom, because you can. You're tired all the time. And you know, you're out all day all day and you bring the kids everywhere. doesn't make you a better mom than I am. You know, cook. I'm a rested mom because absolutely

Amy 33:01

arrested mom is a good mom. So yeah,

Alisha 33:05

you know, that's the, the, the, the big piece and even working like working moms, you know, you work. And we already feel like we have a lot to do and a lot to prove. And it's just like, I don't want women to feel like they have to burn out. So yeah, that they're valuable.

Amy 33:25

It's so true. I work in, in corporate America. And definitely, I'm always looking around at the women and the leaders in my company. And the ones that are balanced, you can tell and the ones that are not you can tell especially like pre pandemic, when everyone was traveling and doing all this stuff. And I could always tell the people that weren't taking care of themselves, because they would always get colds, right, they always look tire bags, and you know, like you could just tell, and I think is women leaders like being able to support other women and be like, Yeah, you know, take a break or do this or like making sure that people are taking care of themselves in, in a work environment is so important. Because I think definitely there's this mindset of like, moving all the time and being busy and just not taking that step back. It's so important that we all continue to like make sure the women around us are okay and hanging in there and not, you know, burning both ends of the candle or whatever that whatever that phrase is.

Katie 34:29

I think there's there's something to like there's strength in knowing your limitations and I don't mean limitations of what you can't achieve but your physical limitations and you need to stay balanced and healthy and present so that you can do everything like actually that much better because you do feel well and you are you know, I mean when you're when you're frazzled and like you said burden burning and on both ends. It's like that's, for me personally, that's when I start to really See, my family suffers. And, you know, it's like it's not self care. It's, I wish people would not look at it so much as like a luxury or a vanity and more a necessity.

Alisha 35:12

Yeah. Yeah.

Amy 35:13

And, and, and altering things to help achieve yourself care. Like, for example, if I have a business trip, I try to go in, like, if it's an early morning meeting the next day or whatever, I'll try to go in the night before. So I can have some downtime, and I can be rested. Whereas like, some people will just like, fly in a plane, go straight to a meeting, go straight to a dinner, do calls in the car. And I'm like, I just don't understand, I could not do that. Because it's too much. There's no downtime. And like, it's just like making sure that you're scheduling your own cell for what you know, is going to work for you. And like how your body reacts, I think the older you get, you start to realize like, okay, you know, here's my schedule for tomorrow, let me like, figure out when I'm going to take a break and have some downtime. So I'm feeling present and focused and rejuvenated. But it

Alisha 35:59

was interesting that you said that because I reached out. So I'm always about looking for ways to teach people about self care. And I reached out to a magazine and publication I don't, I won't say the name. But I said, you know, I read your magazine every time. You know, I travel, I check into a check into a hotel. And I said, Why don't you ever talk about self care for travelers? Or you know, and she's like, well, our market is, you know, usually for business travel or recreation said, Okay, I said, But when people travel for business, they need to know that it's okay to take a break for that from that to like, your, you know, you're there for your, your company or for work. But they're, they need to know it's okay to have downtime to, like, it's still work. Still work. And she's like, Oh, my God, I never thought about that was like, Okay, I see. Like, okay, but it's like you're traveling for work. And it's like, you're, you're I got this meeting, I have to do this, I have to pack up. So it's like your mind you really not know, I'm just traveling for business. That's no fun. Right? Really?

Amy 37:01

Yeah. Why not? Yeah, it's funny. They say that. So I work in, in hospitality and travel, and so work with a lot of hotel brands. So there are definitely a lot of hotel brands now that are focused on wellness well being even while you're traveling for business, taking care of yourself, like all that kind of stuff. So yeah, it's super important. And I think like, things are moving in that in that direction, which is great. So tell us about self care at home, because I see all your halls to like TJ Maxx and Trader Joe's and all that stuff. So give us some give us some goods on that.

Alisha 37:37

Yes. So that really started during the pandemic for me, because I was I wasn't going anywhere. I didn't want to go to a spa. I didn't want to get my nails done at home at a place. So I decided to just create little self care days at the house. And my favorite places to go or TJ Maxx Trader Joe's Marshalls target. I mean, that's all women, I will put that thing, right. Yes. And it also gave me a way to share that with my followers too, because you don't always have to spend the money. So I make a weekly trip to any one of those but most often TJ Maxx and I just browse the aisles, and I find, you know, products to things to try. And it's not expensive sometimes. I mean, I'd literally spend less than $20. Mm hmm. I'm in there. But I'll pick up a mask a sheet mask. I mean, there's tons of them, a bath salts, lotion, body scrubs, candles, all of those things, and then just go home and create my own little self care space. And I look forward to it. Yeah, that's nice. And it's just like, oh, I pick this up. And there's a lot of brands in there that you know, it's favorite brands. save a little money on them. So that is totally, yeah, that's like the highlight highlight of my week, I guess. Like I know, on Tuesdays, they used to restock every Tuesday. I know a lot of people I don't know if people knew that they got a shipment in Tuesday. So that's how I schedule my little time in there. That's a max and then I asked and I said isn't every Tuesday she's like, Oh honey, we start bringing in trucks every day. Now it's like but you know, I like to share that because it gives, you know, other ideas. So whereas you can pick up the socks, these comfy socks and you know, make a plan to Okay, Friday night I'm going to stay in. I'm going to wear these comfy socks and drink some tea. So that allows me to share other ways that you can practice self care, so I love it.

Amy 39:47

Yeah, that's

Katie 39:48

that I used to live. I moved to Connecticut recently from the Cincinnati area Alisha and there was a TJ Maxx by my daughter's school so I would drop her off and I would go to the TJ Maxx and do the like same exact thing. Also I would pick up kids clothes like you can occasionally get like, I know

Amy 40:02

you find good stuff. Yeah, yeah,

Katie 40:04

I have, but I haven't found my local TJ Maxx yet I need to check it. I don't know where it is. I'm looking for in Connecticut. Yeah, that's all Trader Joe's has good stuff there. Amy, I know you've highlighted a couple of products. So

Amy 40:21

I'm just saying to Katie, like I've been I've done a couple of reviews on the show recently that Trader Joe's products that I just like, same thing. I was just wandering down the aisles. I'm like, Oh my God, look at all this beauty stuff made like a great rosewater spray, just like five bucks or something. They have a really good eye cream. They have so many fun things. I was like, This is so great. I love finding stuff like that.

Alisha 40:43

And you know what I did for so every year for Christmas beauty. Oh, so like the advent calendar? Yeah, I just did that. Yeah, they do. So I always get those. And then I like let's meet up so that way I can try like everything they have. And they of course they have the seasonal things like the pumpkin mask. So I'll pick that up. They have like this blueberry exfoliant.

Amy 41:08

Yeah. So Alisha tell us about your podcast. I know you launched it, I think a few years ago now and the community you're creating around, fly, which I love what that stands for. It's so cool.

Alisha 41:19

So the podcast, supply widow podcast. And what I realized after shortly after losing my husband, was that there weren't many outlets for widows, particularly younger widows. And I wanted a space that allowed us to talk to each other and, you know, hear hear stories, because the conversations that were were going on for me, were from older women who were like, Oh, well, you know, you shouldn't be doing that. Or, you know, you shouldn't, and I would never get remarried. So I felt like, that's not what I want to hear as a young widow. So I wanted to be able to put that out there for other widows like myself, so that they would be encouraged in you know, they could resonate with a lot of things were going on COVID had just, you know, picked up and just started in 2020. So at that time, it was a lot of younger widows, because you know, their husbands were dying from COVID. So I got to put this out here. And I did so I launched it. December 2020. And, but it was initially supposed to be as like, I was not expecting it to be like every podcast that was launching every week. I just got so many stories from women who wanted to share. So I think now my like 56 episodes, wow, wow, that's amazing. And I really enjoy it. It's a great community. I've received a lot of feedback from the widows. I think most importantly, it's showing that you can grieve and be happy at the same time, because that's something that people don't think that that can you those two things can exist together, that you can have to be one of the other because if you're happy, then that means you don't miss your husband anymore. Mm hmm. So I said, That's apps, that's like, absurd, that's not true. So that's what the podcast is about. And I'm moving into more of my life now and not so much. I mean, I do have widows Come on, but I like to share what's going on in my life. Because it's almost been three years, I'm ready to date. So like that part, you know, it's, I like to share so that we can all talk about it and know what to expect and, you know, validate your feelings, because it's a range of emotions, and I just enjoy it.

Amy 43:46

That's great. You're awesome. Your,

Katie 43:48

your positivity, it just exudes so much, especially in your podcast, I was listening earlier. And it's just it's really amazing to out of a situation that I can't begin to grasp that you experienced that you've come out with handling it with so much positivity. And where does that come from? Do you were you always a very positive person?

Alisha 44:15

No, I wasn't, um, I had a lot of life struggles. For me. I was in a domestic violence relationship prior to meeting my husband. And it just I had gone through so much. And I think I have, I felt like I was I had already rebuilt myself from like that previous relationship. And when I met my husband, it was like his personality. He was just bubbly personality. Just enjoy life. And I remember I share an early, earlier app that one of the first episodes is just our conversation. Like, I don't know if he truly knew. I mean, he had a heart attack. So it was something that was you know, unexpected. But I remember he had a conversation. And he just said like, if something ever happens to me, just miss me and let me go And I was like, oh my god, like, What are you talking about? And I knew that kind of person he was he just enjoyed life to the fullest. And I don't mean, sure he may have died with regrets of not being able to visit places or do things, but he woke up and live life every single day. Like, some days I was like, and he was an attorney. So he's worked for himself. And he would just pick up and say, Let's go to Puerto Rico tomorrow. I'm like, I can't do that. I have shop, like, work for yourself. But I just, I wanted to carry that with me, because that's how he was and my close friends and everyone that knew him. On they understand. So I know a lot of people are looking who don't know us or didn't know us. So you know, are looking like, oh my god, like, she's, how can she be like this, but I just know that this is what he will want. Like, he wouldn't want me to be sad, he wouldn't want me to not enjoy life. And that is where it comes from. For me.

Amy 45:56

That's wonderful. I mean, you're you're carrying you're carrying through his legacy, yeah, with your

Katie 46:01

dad, and, and really, I'm sure inspiring and uplifting and empowering so many of these widows in your community. So they're really blessed to have you to listen to you on the podcast and to turn to you it's, it's really beautiful. So congratulations on all of

Alisha 46:17

them my son. Because a lot of people meet my son and his, he's a happiest kid. Oh, the happiest kid, and, you know, I don't understand. I tell people, you know, kids feed off of, you know, he knows how I am. And he sees my personality, and he is genuinely happy. He's a great personality. And it's just that you can tell that we are really, we are really happy. Happiness, and it helps to make it and it spills on to other people too. So I enjoy it.

Katie 46:53

Yeah, you're spreading joy. Did I did I hear that you did? Was it like 2012 dates in a row? 21 days in a row was a challenge or something?

Alisha 47:01

Yeah, so I'm working on that I committed to do 12 dates in 90 days. was like, that's a lot. I'm like, actually, like, once a week. Right? Um, I had a dating coach on a few episodes back and we talked about it. And she said, you just got to get out there. Like, what do you mean? Like get out there have practice dates, do whatever, you know, just so you can have conversation. And what's interesting is when you as a widow, men will just have that they just come out of nowhere, right? You're just like, oh my god, like and so it's like always been there where people like all me take you out for dinner or for a drink. So it's just now that I'm like, Okay, fine. You know, you guys. Okay, let's go. But, um, the 12 dates. So when when we came up with a 12 days or 90 days, it isn't all dates with like romantic dates. It is date like friend dates, it's with my family dates with my son. So I want people to be able to see that you know, you and you can get yourself so I'm right. I'm putting together like a journal of like recapping dates. And when I finished it'll see that it's a date with myself. It's a date with my son. It's a date with my best friend from college. So it's all of those dates, but I do have some dates with some some guys in there. Like I've had a couple so

Katie 48:28

how's it going?

Alisha 48:30

It's it's going for that, you know, dating I haven't dated. It's been a long time. Like I've met my husband until 2010. So I mean, it's been like that long since I've been out of like the dating game. So just relearning you know, trying to figure out things and how people think and then also dating as a 42 year old so that different you know, you're in their 30s is I just felt like it's I don't want to do that like can we just go to listen to some live music or right right so it's but it's fun because i You don't realize how much you miss getting dressed up and having conversation with someone of the opposite sex. Yeah, I have my girlfriends I have my son to talk to but just talking to someone else about life and getting to know them and I like that part.

Katie 49:26

Nice. Yeah. Good for you.

Amy 49:29

So it's typically on the show one of us will do a product review but since we have you here we were thinking you could give us your latest and greatest what you're loving right now give us a little product review Alisha.

Alisha 49:42

so I actually my favorite thing right now. I love mask. I love a face mask but loops. Have you guys tried the loops? Um no. So loops is and it's a clean skincare brand but they have these face masks, and they're really like a gel gel face masks. But what I really love about them is they stay in place, you know, like a lot of masks like you. You have to like, set up, but the way that their masks are cut out, it's like when you put them on and I was looking to see if I

Amy 50:18

had is it loops like L oh, PS Yes. lol

Alisha 50:21

Yes. So they have the maths and then they have the I've under eye patches. But I love the maths because the way that they're cut out, they just go on perfectly, because it's kind of like two different pieces in one. But you can like walk around the house.

Amy 50:37

And you know, you don't like sliding off your face. So it's like it's

Alisha 50:41

a gel, and they make them they have different ones. So there's like a of reset. There's like a vitamin C one, there's a detox. So I like those like you can get a package is like five of them. And it's like the different ones. But I love them. So keep it on for I usually do like 20 minutes, okay, just because that's like, I got little I have like a little routine where I'll drink tea. I mean, read a book. So that's all like in my self care, but that's like one of my Sunday. Things like my Sunday little streets. And it's easy. Right? So ended. It's kind of like a when my son sees me with my mask on. He's like, Okay, I'm a Libra. So, yeah,

Amy 51:30

to try that brand. Yeah, yes. Good. That's great. All right, let's get into our rap session. So what is your favorite wellness or beauty hack?

Alisha 51:43

So I like a Once I apply serums I like to use I have these little ice scopes. Or and I have one so I like beauty tools. I love to use like the wind The cons of wands, or the ACE ology has some ice groups. And yeah, I just sit there and I massage my face. So that's one of like my favorite hacks a lot of puffy eyes you know from crying. It's allergy season, which is approaching and that's just something that I try to incorporate in my beauty routine daily using the little globes, put them in the refrigerator so they're you know really cold and then just move them onto the fly so like that like

Amy 52:30

that trellis I've seen those and I've always wanted on but I haven't animate it's also good

Alisha 52:33

for you know, like tension headaches. Yeah, I you know, not I'm not only use them for like under eye puffiness but like, you know if I've had a stressful day or I've had a headache, you know, I got my eyebrows microbladed retouch. So like I've been like putting them on there a little bit when they were sore. So those are like, that's like my treats like the beauty the beauty tools we have like the the PMD I'm like the moist the cleanser. cleanser tool, but there's on the other side there's a rose quartz that you can just apply I used to apply serum see your face too because it heats up like that as well.

Katie 53:17

So I want to try those I've seen the gloves I need to buy them I use the like the rollers also sometimes with a tension headache around the jaw and I feel like the gloves would be good for that to be a bit tight jaw. Nice. Okay, all right, this next one we call your five minute flow. You just got out of the shower and dried off Uber pain Do you they're five minutes away. What are you going to do to get into that Uber on time What are your holy grails your go twos to get there and ready for your day?

Alisha 53:41

So the thing would be is I don't really have like an elaborate makeup routine. Like if I get my makeup done for an event I'm going to go to someone I'm not very good at I can apply skincare all day long. I just not my thing. So I have my eyebrows already done. So five minutes. I mean I'm totally throwing on a tinted moisturizer like you know that's easy has SPF in it and you know the tent? A little bit of bronzer or highlighter on on my cheekbones. The cream blush super easy, you know, just I mean, I really learned just put my hands in it and then rub it on. And some lip gloss and mascara, huh? Yes, it?

Amy 54:21

Yeah. Great. And you were saying before your skin so good. You don't really you don't need anything.

Katie 54:27

You don't need a lot. Yeah, that's true. All right, last one is how do you maintain your daily nirvana? What keeps you calm and balanced?

Alisha 54:35

I like affirmations and meditation. So as soon as I start my day, I wake up early. Try to get up 30 minutes earlier than my son because that's when I can get my quiet time in so that's when you're listening to like meditation. I have apps calm app. And I get that's how I get my time and you know, I'm be able to start the day and I'm not rushing. Because you know, if you start your day rushing that sets the tone for the rest that your entire day. Yeah, I know when I'm running late or something, that's just it. But when I have that moment, so just get started and everything else flows from there.

Katie 55:17

Yeah, it's so true when you when you start your day off late, it's just like it stacks. Like one more thing. Yeah. Because you're behind on

Amy 55:26

money. Yeah. Yeah, it's so true. I was listening. I heard a podcast this week, I forgot who was mentioning this. But there was like a stat. I don't know the exact stack, stat. I'll find it. But it was like something like the first 15 minutes of your day, determine the rest of your day. Right. So if you're calm, your day is gonna be kind of calm and chill if you Yeah, so it was interesting. I never thought about it that way. But it's so true.

Alisha 55:50

Yeah, yep, I believe it. Mm hmm.

Amy 55:53

Absolutely. All right. Well, so where are where can our audience find you before we Katie, we'll probably close out with a mantra. But where can we find you? Give us all your

Unknown Speaker 56:05

hang out on social media. Instagram is Dr. Alisha Reed. Website is super easy. It's Dralishareed.com and Twitter is Dr. Alisha Reed.

Katie 56:16

All right. Well, Alisha, thank you so much. It's been such a pleasure getting to know you and hearing your story. And we love all of your self care recommendations and tools. It's it's just all really great stuff. So thanks. So let's close with a quick little mantra. And you know, I'd like to say this, Amy, I've been thinking about this lately. We use the word mantra a little like loosely or flippantly. And I just want to call out to our listeners, like, mantras are very can be very personal and very important. And not everything that we say every time is necessarily a mantra. Sometimes it's just a reminder or an equation. Yeah, a quote just one thing to take with you is really what we want to send you off with. So this week is self care is giving the world the best of you instead of what's left of you. And I thought that was pretty appropriate with with Dr. Alisha Reed here today. That's so much.

Amy 57:13

Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thanks for listening to Nirvana sisters. For more information on this episode, check out the show notes please subscribe and leave us a review. also find us on Instagram at Nirvana sisters. If you loved what you just listened to or know someone that would please share it and tag us. Tune in next week for a fresh new episode of Nirvana sisters will continue to watch out for all things wellness so you don't have to. Bye